No More Mr Nice Guy
by D. Vanvliet
Summary: You're not going to start making cheesy, dumb-ass remarks about my 'big gun' are you?" OOC, One-Shot Contains VashMeryl strangeness, what else can I say?


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No More Mr. Nice Guy

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I/I (One-Shot)

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Meryl Strife paused in the middle of typing her latest report and looked up, and out of the window of her rented room, just in time to see a flash of red slip around a dark corner of the building below. 

"_Va-ash!"_ she groaned. The idiot was just leaving – _again!_

_After all the grief he'd just put her through!_

"He's not getting away this time!" Meryl slammed her fist onto the tabletop and turned to look over her shoulder with determined, narrowed eyes.

"_Milly_! Milly, get up, now, we're leaving!"

A loud snore was her only answer as her partner shifted in her too-short bed and muttered in her sleep.

Meryl rolled her eyes. It looked like she was on her own for this one…

A small smile crossed her lips, and she turned to look out the window again. Her gaze turned contemplative.

Maybe being alone with Vash for a little while wouldn't be such a bad thing, though, after all.

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"Where are you going now, Vash?" 

Vash stopped in his tracks and looked up at the dark sky as he heard an annoyingly familiar voice address him.

"What do I have to do to keep you from running off without us all the time?" she shocked him by asking in a suddenly seductive tone.

Vash dropped his bag and turned back around to face her with a slight blush staining his cheeks. He looked faintly ashamed as he gently began to let her down.

"Hey, uh, it's flattering an' all, but see, I'm really not into you that way, Miss – _HOLY SHIT!"_

_Was that really Meryl Strife! Minute, short-haired, boyish-looking, Meryl!_

She stood in front of him, completely naked, except for her white half-boots and white cloak which had blown back over her shoulders, exposing the long braces of derringers concealed within it's folds – and one strapped high on her bare thigh.

Vash gaped. How in all that was holy had he ever thought this girl looked boyish? She was a total babe! No, she was totally _hot_, the woman of his _dreams_…all velvety smooth skin, and soft hips just right for sinking his fingers into, and high, full breasts with little pink nipples that reminded him of hard candy and made his mouth water…

Meryl looked on in satisfaction as the man before her began to visibly pant.

"So, are you staying on for the night, Vash, or not? I for one, can think of many other things I'd rather be doing on a night like this, than making Milly get up to help me chase after you in the dark, and keep you out of trouble."

Vash rolled his tongue back into his mouth and gave her a huge white grin. "I dunno. I think I could get used to the idea of you chasing me down, looking like _this_."

Meryl put her hands on hips and looked down at him through her dark, wind-tangled hair.

"You are such a pervert."

"Who are you calling a pervert? I'm not the one standing out here butt-naked in the desert, in the middle-of-the-night, propositioning strange men!"

"Hmph. Well, you've got one thing right about that, Vash the Stampede – you certainly _are_ strange."

"_Hey!"_

He didn't need this, not with Legato after him. These 'Disaster Investigators' were going to end up dead if they kept following him around!

"Listen, Insurance Girl, I'm tired of being Mr. Nice Guy with you. Go back," he told her in his most menacing voice.

"I'm tired of you being nice, too. And what are you going to do if I don't?"

Vash blinked. Then he very slowly, with great deliberation, drew back one side of his duster to palm his gun.

"If that's what it takes to keep you safe, I guess I'll have to shoot you – just a flesh wound, of course."

"The problem is, we both know you won't shoot me," Meryl said confidently.

Vash grinned a little, despite himself. The real problem was that he really _was_ a nice guy. _'Damn it'._

"Well?"

Vash took a hesitant step forward, feeling entranced by the dangerous, exotic beauty before him. "You're not going to start making cheesy, dumb ass remarks about my 'big gun' are you?"

"Not unless you want me to," Meryl said dryly. "Are you going to start barking like a dog, and insist on calling me 'Master'?"

He had her in his arms in an instant, and he bent her back over his arm as he winked suggestively at her in the moonlight.

"Arf."

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End

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Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trigun, or any characters related to the series.

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A/N: Oh, my _God_, don't even ask me where that came from, LOL! It was all in my head when I woke up this morning, I swear! I really did write it in my sleep! Ahh…anyway…I'm leaving the land of Wacky, OOC One-shots, now…but I'm taking Vash with me, heh. BTW, got my desktop straightened out, so the next chapter of Demon's Night _should_ be out sometime this weekend – barring any unwanted visitors, that is. Thanks for reading! 

D.V.

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Note from Vash: "So, how did _she_ know that guns would do it for me...?"

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End file.
